For Christmas, my mom gifted me these writing dice! It was such a neat gift and a fun idea, I figured I would share with all of you! I think every now and then I will roll the dice and share the results with you!
So today was my first time taking them out and rolling the dice.
These are all color coded dice, so I’ll give you the meaning of each color below!
Light blue: Theme
Orange: Conflict
White: Point of view
Dark green: Character dimensions
Yellow: Time
Pink: Place
Any or all of these prompts can be used! I think you could use these for any type of writing as well, maybe just for brainstorming or maybe even for journaling? Sky is the limit!! Get creative, and I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Let me know if this is something you’d like me to continue, and how often! And I’d also love to hear if it sparked a story!
It’s a snow day here so we are stuck home, I think I it’s a good day to write!
As I saw, that all my life, there has been a lacking,
A space un-filled , and incomplete.
I need to truly be me
To view my life, and take out the weight of deceit
To remind myself, this isn’t defeat.
My eyes are open,
My soul surviving by coping.
I’ve been a pawn in a game I did not enter
Playing by a rule book, that I have never seen
Somehow I’ve made it to the center
But I want to stop this unending scene
Now enough of this rhyming.
The timing…
It feels odd,
But I’m tired of fighting
Tired of trying
Tired of fixing
And getting mixed signals
I’m tired of blame
Exhausted by shame
Yet who is to blame? Is it me?
I don’t want to be noticed, I want to be seen
I don’t want to be heard, I need you to listen
Am I wrong for wanting affection, over just some dicks erection?
Excuse me, I should use more discretion.
I’m sick of being touched, for fucks sake
I just need some s p a c e.
But there is no room for that here, maybe it’s too late
I’ve been touched in all the wrong ways
Even with anger displayed
Nothing has changed.
Is it wrong to want affection, in all the right ways?
To see a true heart on display?
To feel loves true embrace?
Why do I feel like I’m in last place
In a long marathon race?
That dream…
It gave me a taste
Of a bittersweet decision I must make.
It took me day of debating on whether or not to actually share this. Clearly, chose to, because I started this blog in hopes of being able to speak freely. To let the voice in my head, have a space to say what it needs to. This blog doesn’t necessarily have a “niche” but it does have a purpose.
I’ve realized that being vulnerable and sharing my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, not only helps me feel sane, but it may eventually find someone who feels similar. I will never brag and say that I’m a good writer, but I still can hope that, by sharing myself, it will help someone in need. Someone who might feel alone in their struggles, whatever they may be.
This is my longest poem by far, but I had a lot to feel that day and the words just kept flowing. And when the words flow, you let ‘em out!
I sent this little quote/poem with the pigeon last night.
The words popped into my head as I was getting it ready to be buckled up in transit bus.
But let’s rewind the day a little bit, shall we?
Monday morning, despite my crippling phone anxiety, I called multiple veterinarians in my area. After Saturday’s conversation with the bird rehab center, I was told that in emergency situations (such as this compound leg fracture) a vet in Oregon can legally operate or euthanize a wild animal without a permit or license.
So I called the first vet clinic again, after being told that it was illegal for them to touch a wild animal. (Even if this pigeon was my pet, she said they wouldn’t touch it.) I told this woman what the rehab center told me, and she would not even listen to me speak. She was very rude. And the other places I called didn’t really work on birds and spoke to me with audible irritation.
So I got ahold of the rehab center again explaining what had transpired. She gave me times for a transit bus that would show up in the town next to mine, and that she would drive to its first stop over the mountain between us.
That night was a blizzard, our first real snow this season, and the roads were not ideal. The transit bus was an hour and a half late getting to our station, but I managed to get our injured, feathered friend safely secured in a box and buckled into a seat next to the bus driver. About an hour later, I get a text from Lynn, the centers founder and owner, saying that she successfully got the bird!!
Now, I currently don’t have anymore information on how the pigeon is. But I hope I’ll be able to get an update soon.
Thank you so very much to Lynn at Blue Mountain Wildlife, and for all of the wonderful work you do.
Gosh that must be nice, to be in a room with another human being and not be on edge. Not waiting for fight or flight take over.
I wonder what it’s like to be cared for without expectation.
To be listened to with attention
To be loved without a price.
Can you imagine that life?
Gosh that must feel nice.
How rich it must feel, how soft, how sweet, how filling for the soul, if this imagination of mine is real.
My fingers are crossed, stars have been wished, prayers said, offerings given and manifestations written.
If there is one thing I would want for Christmas, (if I was being selfish) I’d ask for proof that this can exist for me.
That true love can be a reality.
Do you think Santa has enough Christmas magic for that??
I found this in my drafts. I have a few sitting there that I’ve written late at night and then forgot about!
And while things on my page haven’t exactly been lighthearted or happy here recently, I have a good feeling that they will be soon! I’ve been doing a lot of self reflection and realizing that the less I care about someone else’s thoughts of me or their reaction to me, the less I give a shit. Seriously so freeing to just care for yourself (and the kids of course)
But, as for the toxicity of some people around me, I am letting go. I am choosing to choose me first. Not them. I don’t want to be a people pleaser for them anymore. For all the tons and tons of love that I gave them, I’ve only gotten a pound in return. And to be honest, that was taken back anyway.
It is time for me to be me. And to figure out who that actually is. This year is going to have some big changes, I hope you can stick with me, because it won’t be easy, but it will be better!
I have always said that things happen for a reason. I have told people that all my life because I believe it. But I have a hard time remembering this phrase for myself.
Until today, that is.
This morning I was late getting the kids and I out the door for school. My virtual therapy session took longer than expected by a few minutes. And then, as I’m heading out of town and onto the highway, I get stuck behind 2 cars. The car in front, going below the speed limit, the one in between us, won’t pass. I am stuck behind the first car until a block before my sons school.
Needless to say, we were about 10 minutes late today.
Now normally, my daughter (1 1/2 years old) will drive to the other e do of town to hang out at my grandparents house while we wait for my sons preschool class to be finished. (2 1/2 hours)
But today, we didn’t plan on going there, because my daughter had a speech therapy appointment.
Now, the way to the clinic, actually passes by my grandparents, so I would have driven the same route, but I decided last minute, “I’ll go grab a coffee with the gift certificate my brother got me for Christmas while we wait.”
So instead of turning, I went straight.
Upon doing so, I swerved a little to avoid a sad little lump in the road. But as I passed by, I saw that the poor little lump was a bird, and it was alive, just unable to move.
I drove a bit, and turned around. It took me a bit to get back to the poor bird but thankfully no one hit it in my absence. I drive up, put on my flashers and I jump out of the car, snatch up the sad bird from the rainy pavement and speeding cars. I held it close to my heart and I drove off the back road that I normally would have driven down.
I stopped on the side of the road and I was able to get a makeshift carrier settled. My nice under armor cooler was in the front seat thankfully. (It’s usually in the trunk, but it was moved in order to fit Christmas presents. I had a sweatshirt of mine tucked in between car seats in the back that I nestled in the bottom of the cooler. It was cold so I held it in front of the heater vents to warm up. I put the bird in and covered it up with a sleeve.
Tucked in and safe, warm and dry, the cute little guy eventually fell asleep. When we finally got home, I was able to see that it’s leg is injured. I think the wings are fine, but it might take a miracle to give this bird a second chance. I can only hope that, regardless of the outcome, I was able to give love and peace for this scared beautiful creature. I will keep y’all updated, for better or worse.
But for now, a sweet and innocent pigeon lays quietly in my room, sleeping and hopefully healing.
Taken when I parked my car after picking up the bird from a busy road in the cold rain.
I know things are stressful, but trust me, things will be ok.
Sometimes we feel overwhelmed, sad, angry, worthless and scared. Things will work out for the better though, don’t you worry.
We have been held down, walked on and been told we aren’t allowed to thrive. But thrive we will, we must.
We may feel embarrassed and critical of our dreams and ambitions. But once we drop our heavily guarded walls and not fear judgment, we will feel so free.
So let’s stand strong my friend. We are worthy of so much more than we believe. This year will be one on change, one of progress and success.
Let make a toast:
We will reach and achieve our dreams. Jump in, and never look back.
Ink & Embers 