Falling apart

I lie awake

Wondering how long it might take

For someone to notice, for someone to see

Who am I?

Why can’t I just be

Me.

My life revolved around you, and your never-met needs

I sit and stare, my mind blank

Can’t you understand my sanity is at stake?

I’m drowning in stress

Can that happen?

You take and you take

It’s a never ending cycle

You want more than I can give while you take more than you give.

I do it all with no thanks, no recognition,

In fact, you tell me all the time I don’t do enough in my position.

I’ve yelled, I’ve cried, I’ve stayed silent but never lied.

You accuse with no basis

Apparently, an open window facing the neighbor is too close to adultery

You’ve been gone all day, all night, it’s 3am when you stumble inside

But I can’t ask questions, I can’t be mad, it’s not my place.

Where’s the love?

Where is your mind?

Will I ever find it?

Will I ever get out of this purgatory and breathe?

I just want happiness and peace, I want a love that isn’t skin deep.

I want a love that is just sitting together drinking tea on the couch and talking about anything and everything.

A love where we are happy to see the others face in the morning.

To feel warmth when in their presence.

Is that too much to ask? Does that truly exist?

It may be too late for me, but I’ll still hold on to that dream.

Now that I’ve vented, I think it’s time to sleep.