Taking control

Writing has always been a way for me to fully express how I feel. I get use unique ways to describe a feeling, an emotion. It’s always been a passion of mine, but I never fully allowed myself to do it, for fear of being judged, criticized. This blog has given me a freedom I never expected, and getting your feedback has been the cherry on top, so I want to say thank you to my followers of my ramblings.

I know that most of what I write ends up being a bit heavy, but such is life. Unfortunately some of us have had more darkness and weight on our backs than others, and that’s alright. I’ve learned a lot from it all. It’s take all my life so far, but I have more life to life, and a hell of a lot of experience to share.

Instead of thinking that I am undeserving of being treated kindly, instead of giving up on believing in real love, I have fully realized that I was not to blame for anyone’s negative behavior towards me. I was just caught in the line of fire because I was an easy target. Well not anymore! I give up trying to please others just because I’m loving. I give up trying to heal someone who just wants to disappear. And I give up on just taking the back seat, I’m the driver, I choose what I do. As cocky as this may sound (and I hate cocky) I know what’s best. For me, and for my children.

I’ve taken the initiative in almost everything now. And damn, does it feel good. It feels SO good to just do what needs done and not wait for someone else, when I know they won’t do it anyway.

I’ve started a business, it’s a baby but I’m going to make sure it grows. I will stand idly by no longer, because regardless of what I’m shown or told, I am strong, I am capable, I am talented, I am loving and I am NOT everyone’s punching bag.

So here’s to me *raises coffee mug to toast* taking life by the balls and finding my worth.

And a special toast to you, whatever battles you have going on in life, in your mind, you are strong, and you will overcome, in one way or another don’t let it get in your way.

~A