My son turned 3 this past July, he didn’t speak at all, and only now does he say a few choice words, his most common are saying what letters are, and counting.
But how do you potty train a child who doesn’t communicate that he has to go? Or doesn’t answer to, “do you need to potty?”.
Honestly it’s gone far better than I imagined! I noticed for 4 nights in a row that he woke up with a dry diaper, and would pee shortly after waking. That was my aha moment!
I immediately after that 4th dry night, decided to go full blown potty mode. Diapers? Gone. I did keep diapers at night just in case but that only was for 3 nights and then diapers were gone completely!
I understand that most children are not night time potty trained for a long while and we are just lucky that my son is! (3 1/2 weeks never wet the bed)
Now, tiny back track here, for months and months, every time my son had pooped, I would take him to the bathroom and show him that poop goes in the potty. So he eventually started to sometimes take me in there after he had gone. So we had potty and bathroom association for quite some time.
So here’s how I started.
As I stated before, diapers were gone. I only put them on for the first few nights just in case, and only once more when we went to a speech therapy appointment because it had only been about a week of potty training and that was our first out of the house time. And the appointments are an hour long, not to mention the 20 ish minutes to get there, and the 20 ish minutes to get back home, he did great by the way. Just potty before you leave, and then potty when you get home. (I asked if he needed to pee at the clinic but he spilled me to the door to leave. So no potty break in between.)
I was going to start with the whole 3 Day Potty Training method. The guidelines there said, first 3 days, no diaper and take your child to the potty every 15 minutes. The next several days, go commando, (pants with no undies), and then after that, you can put undies on them.
Well the timeline was not going to work with my son, so we did a full week of no diaper, and a full week of just pants.
Things tend to get messy let me just say that. Lots of little accidents, a few big ones. But thankfully only one poo on the couch (ew I know, but that’s what couch covers are for!!), and only 2 poos in the pants. But the pee accidents are a lot harder to clean up, especially when your child gets to the point where they wait and see how long they can hold it, then there’s a big ol’ puddle somewhere on the floor.
But that’s a wonderful sign!! You want them to do that, it lets their body realize how much it can hold and how long they can wait until their bladder is full. Instead of how it was in the beginning, my son was peeing every time he felt even the faintest hint of needing to pee.
W started out with the tiny toilet out in the living room, in front of the tv, so he could sit and watch his music and learning shows and be just entertained enough to sit in the potty and go.
It worked out great but it is small, so for boys, you really have to check and make sure they pee IN the potty!! (if you know what I mean)
I would just remind him and say do you need to potty? And he would run over sit down (no worrying about pants because he’s naked, just focus in using the potty first) and go, then he would see he went, close the lid and flush and then we would say “woo!! Great job peeing in the potty!” And give a big high five for praise!
But I knew he was pretty regular with his poos so around the same time every day I would take him to the big toilet, put on his seat and give him a book, or my phone to play with, and then I’d leave the room. Kids like to go in private. In fact my son will wave me out of the room most times and just sit and play on the phone until he is finished, and then (since he can’t talk yet) waddles down the hall with his pants down around his ankles and hands me the phone. We go check and see if he pooped or not, and if not, no biggie, we try again later!
I actually highly recommend the phone thing while on the potty, because then any time he needs to go, he can grab for the phone, and since it’s always on me, it’s just a perfect way for him to communicate that need until he finds his voice!
He has even gone back to school (we potty trained over Christmas break) and has not had an accident either! He is at school for 2 1/2 hours in the mornings and has been doing incredible, and in no small part to his wonderful teachers who work with us on his new skill!
We had two days, just after Christmas, where my son would pee EVERY time he was sitting on the couch…. That’s a lot of pee, so thankfully I had a spare cage liner from our rabbit/Guinea pig pen and it fit perfectly over my love seats cushions!
So during that second day of constant accidents, I brought out the potty watch I ordered forever ago. And I set the reminder at first to every hour. That was a little too long so I went to 30 minutes. Well at the end of the day, I had to set it to 15… but the potty watch was great! Until he realized he could turn off the alarm! Haha, smart kid
After those two crazy days, he has only had two very small accidents in a week! I am so incredibly proud of my son and this amazing accomplishment and I hope that if you are worried or struggling with potty training, that this post helps you.
I have a couple extra things I bought for the potty training process that may work for you, they just weren’t super helpful for us, but I’ll link them here and explain in short why we didn’t need them.
Toddler training underwear: They work fine as underwear! But in the beginning stages I do not recommend because they do absorb some pee, and your toddle won’t feel it, and therefore won’t get the hint that he needs to sit on the potty. (Smaller sizes)
Recordable buttons: These are wonderful! They should work for anyone who’s kiddo does just steal the button and run off with it and reset the recording! Haha, he didn’t use them for the intended purpose, but had I put them securely on the wall or something they would probably have worked better for us!
Happy potty training everyone, and the best of luck! Remember, the most I root at thing during all of this, is to stay calm on the outside, it needs to be kept light hearted and fun, not a demand, or a punishment. Make this a positive experience for your baby, they don’t understand what they need to do, and it’s a skill just like learning to walk. Time, patience and love, are the best ingredient for happiness.
~A
Ink & Embers 