mental health – Page 2

Savior

I am not looking for someone to save me. No I don’t need that. What I am looking for, Is someone to sit with me while I feel. Someone to make me laugh Someone to show me kindness and grace while I take time to heal… if I can figure out how. I don’t needContinue reading “Savior”

Allowed

I allowed myself to feel comfort And I cried. I cried in a way that I don’t understand But I allowed myself to feel it. The comforting warmth of my son sleeping next to me, cozy in his blankets, his favorite stuffed seal in his hands I felt my body try to relax the tiniestContinue reading “Allowed”

My birthday

February 21st. I woke up this morning another year older. I turned 28 this morning, officially, at 8:15am. Thankfully I was still asleep! My kids have been sick and my 1 1/2 year old hasn’t let me sleep for two nights in a row. She was crying every 10 minutes or so from 12:30am toContinue reading “My birthday”

Saying you love me

Saying you love me, is like rubbing salt into the wounds you refuse to see. The invisible gouges that you won’t acknowledge or take responsibility for, have become scars I will bear for years to come. When love given freely turned to pleas, Becoming new stabs to my heart that you will never feel, inContinue reading “Saying you love me”

If you just

Words I have heard far too many times Words that I once believed. For far too long. If you just listened, I wouldn’t have to yell. If you just did what I said, you wouldn’t get in trouble. If you just keep this a secret, nothing bad will happen. If you just lie, I won’tContinue reading “If you just”

Imagination

Can you imagine, A life where you are not judged for who you are Not convinced that you’re wrong or weak? Can you imagine feeling calm around others? Gosh that must be nice, to be in a room with another human being and not be on edge. Not waiting for fight or flight take over.Continue reading “Imagination”

I thought I could hurt forever…

I cook and clean and fold your clothes You never say you’re thankful anymore. I always thought I asked too much, is my fairytale idea of love, delusional? You know damn well that I’m drowning Heart is racing, head is pounding Is today the day I walk away? Maybe I can hurt forever if itContinue reading “I thought I could hurt forever…”

Happy Thanksgiving

I stand here in my kitchen today slowly but surely getting Thanksgiving food prepared. The turkey is in the oven smothered and stuffed with butter and herbs, and the rolls are sitting out rising, awaiting their turn to be baked. Next comes the pie, I can’t wait for that. Pumpkin pie has always been myContinue reading “Happy Thanksgiving”

Falling apart

I lie awake Wondering how long it might take For someone to notice, for someone to see Who am I? Why can’t I just be Me. My life revolved around you, and your never-met needs I sit and stare, my mind blank Can’t you understand my sanity is at stake? I’m drowning in stress CanContinue reading “Falling apart”

Puzzle pieces

I tore myself apart For the sake of being loved I took the pieces and forced them together For the sake of being loved I held myself together with hopes, dreams, and lies For the sake of being loved I tore myself apart again and again and again For the sake of being loved ButContinue reading “Puzzle pieces”