The Puppy

So, if you’ve been a follower for a while, you know that my son has moderate autism. he was diagnosed at 3 years old and he is now almost 5! (I can’t believe I just said that! Haha) and for the most part, he is still non-verbal. He mimics shows that he likes, and tellsContinue reading “The Puppy”

I thought…

I thought it was love, ‘cause he knew my name Said I was pretty, I guess I’m to blame. He gave me attention that I always craved Sixteen, naive My innocence taken away. Baited me in with lies and said we’d be ok. That little girl, a trauma filled teen Became a women trapped inContinue reading “I thought…”

Savior

I am not looking for someone to save me. No I don’t need that. What I am looking for, Is someone to sit with me while I feel. Someone to make me laugh Someone to show me kindness and grace while I take time to heal… if I can figure out how. I don’t needContinue reading “Savior”

Allowed

I allowed myself to feel comfort And I cried. I cried in a way that I don’t understand But I allowed myself to feel it. The comforting warmth of my son sleeping next to me, cozy in his blankets, his favorite stuffed seal in his hands I felt my body try to relax the tiniestContinue reading “Allowed”

My birthday

February 21st. I woke up this morning another year older. I turned 28 this morning, officially, at 8:15am. Thankfully I was still asleep! My kids have been sick and my 1 1/2 year old hasn’t let me sleep for two nights in a row. She was crying every 10 minutes or so from 12:30am toContinue reading “My birthday”

Saying you love me

Saying you love me, is like rubbing salt into the wounds you refuse to see. The invisible gouges that you won’t acknowledge or take responsibility for, have become scars I will bear for years to come. When love given freely turned to pleas, Becoming new stabs to my heart that you will never feel, inContinue reading “Saying you love me”

How many lives

I had this thought tonight, How many lives must we have to get it right? How many battles must we lose How many wounds must we lick How many hours must we waste How many days must go by? How many tears must fall How many times must we lose it all How many timesContinue reading “How many lives”

Passing by strangers

I find myself passing by strangers, waving at the children before the adults Not because I have kids of my own now But because I know what it felt like to be out of sight To be out of mind To feel alone in a crowded room So I smile and acknowledge them first, toContinue reading “Passing by strangers”

I think I forgot

I think I forgot how to smile, how to speak and communicate like a normal person. That face caught me off guard. I forgot how to make eye contact, but then again, I was never good at that anyway. I think I forgot that kind of energy existed, it’s been so long. Kind and gentle.Continue reading “I think I forgot”