Raising backyard chickens on a budget!

Chickens… I had them growing up and I loved them. I was so excited to be able to keep them in my room while the coop was being built and they were still too little to be outside. The cutest little yellow fluffs for roommates you’d ever see. The peeps and the heat lamp glow never bothered me. I always loved caring for animals, one of life’s greatest joys for me.

Now I’m an adult with two children and 8 animals… yes. Eight animals. 2 cats ( not including the ferals that live in my back yard, there were 10 of those this year!) a rabbit who has over 1,000 followers on instagram, 2 Guinea pigs, and 3 chickens. Oh and 5 fish if want to include them too!

But we are here to talk about our girls, the ladies as I call them. We have Hennefer, Stevie Chicks, and Chicken Patty LaBelle (my fiancé named her).

It all started when I said I wanted chickens, and to my surprise, I was told yes! Well some friends came over one week and built us a coop out of scrap wood, it is not perfect but it’s great for what it is, 3 nesting boxes a ramp up to them and it’s sturdy! I’d say it’s weather proof but we have just started getting some leaking this year in one spot with all the heavy rains we had this summer.

Two of the nesting boxes, the 3rd is blocked because of the water that leaks in. Please don’t judge the mess, it’s winter and I didn’t have the strength or time to deep clean after my baby girl was born!
Another horrible messy picture of my coop, the ladies drag the towels out that I stuff in the back vent holes for weatherizing.

Well it was beginning of March in 2021 when my mom, my son and I drove to our local D & B Supply in the next town over, and I decided I was getting chicks that day! I didn’t tell my fiancé anything, in fact he was still asleep at home. So we went in, and I got 3 of the cutest little chicks. Two silver laced Wyandotte, and one Columbian Wyandotte.

2 Silver laced & 1 Columbian Wyandotte chicks about 1 week old. March 8th 2021

They put them in a little box, I grabbed a bag of chick feed and we went home. Brought them inside and put them temporarily in a storage tote (image above was their first moments home. I set them on the kitchen table and walked down the hall to hear my fiancé ask what that sound was. I laughed and said

“I don’t know what you mean”

“Oh no, what have you done??”

He later proceeded to tell everyone and even posted on Facebook that he had asked for chicken nuggets and I brought home these instead, haha!

Homemade rice heat pack to keep them warm
The girls with a heat lamp

We kept the chicks in the house for a long time until they were too big for the metal dog crate we had on our dryer, and when it was warm enough to be put outside in the coop. The coop was also sitting smack dab in the middle of the back yard where it was built and it sat there allll winter and into the early parts of spring.

I loved having the birds inside, and my son was very interested in watching them. We had them in our living room on the coffee table during the day to sit in front of the windows, and I moved them to the top of our dryer at night where I had the heat lamp hanging from the cabinet door above them.

The ladies sitting on my arm March 28th 2021

In early April it was warm enough during the day that I would take them outside to graze around and soak up the sun and they loved it! So did my son!

April 21st 2021

Our girls were very friendly and sweet because I held them and let them every day, and I still do, I go out every night to put them to bed and I give them all a nice good pet. And most nights ( unless it snows) I have to wrangle them up, grab each one in a specific order and put them in the coop for the night! Haha, it’s quite the sight some nights if you see me chasing the chickens around the picnic table. They fight going to bed worse than my toddler!

Stevie Chicks being held by my brother in-law April 11th 2021

Fast forward ahead a little ways and on July 21st, 3 days after we all got Covid, we got our very first egg! It was small but it was so exciting to find, and all I wanted to know was who’s egg it was, because at the time I didn’t realize a very neat trick to knowing who was laying and who wasn’t. And I’ll tell you the secret!

First egg July 21st 2021
The first egg compared to a store bought egg
Size comparison in my hand
2nd egg on July 23rd 2021

Chickens start laying eggs at around 6 months old, our chickens were just about 5 months for the first egg to arrive. Our ladies are now pretty big (almost two years old, it’s currently December of 2022) the Wyandotte breed is large, they are a laying and meat chicken, but of course I don’t plan on eating them! They are one of the higher egg layers as well, laying around 200 eggs a year. Unless of course your like Patty and you get broody very regularly and then cause the other girls to stop laying… yeah I know your games Patty.

Chicken Patty LaBelle (Patty) our Columbian Wyandotte

She gets broody alllll the time and sometimes that sets the other two into a weird funk and they will stop laying as well, not to mention when they moult, they will also stop laying. This last time just a few months ago, Patty got broody, they all stopped laying for a month and then the two silvers started moulting, so no eggs for us for two months. So now for the secret I mentioned earlier. If you don’t know, then this will be helpful.

When chickens are of egg layin age, they will squat down when approached. They do it because if it were a rooster approaching then she was getting in position to fertilize her egg.

While I’m no rooster and none of their eggs will be fertilized, it is a great way to tell who is laying and who isn’t, you can then try to figure out why they aren’t laying. (Sickness, moulting, or broody) It’s also 100 times easier to pick up a chicken who squats down in front of you rather than run away too!

Ignore the “baby talk” voice, haha!

In the video above, Patty (who hates being touched) squatted down in front of my, then, two year old son and he laid his head on her. He thought her flaps of protest were funny, although I guarantee she regretted the instinct to squat in front of him!

She gets all kinds of ruffled when you pet her or set her down from being held, she is a prissy lady. I must say, they all have distinct attitudes but Patty is a bit of a drama queen and it can be quite funny!

The first day that all 3 laid eggs, August 19th 2021

All three soon started laying, and as you can see in the image above, they are all a bit different in size. Patty has always laid slightly small eggs despite being one of the biggest girls. She also on occasion lays almost white eggs. And those lighter eggs tend to have thinner shells. But I know which eggs were hers to start with because she likes to lay in specific spots. The other two, don’t care where they go.

In fact, the first time Patty got broody, one of them decided to lay behind our old ac unit and I didn’t find them for a week!

I washed them up and did the water test to make sure they were still good, they were! If you don’t know they water test, you place the eggs in water and if they float, they are bad, if they sink, they are good to eat.

Now here recently, amidst the craziness of broody Patty and moulting Hennifer and Stevie, I thought they just weren’t laying, until I found a clutch of about 12 eggs in our front yard (they normally can’t get there), in a flower bed that was over grown. None of those poor eggs were good, what a sad waste that was.

All in all, having chickens is absolutely wonderful, I’ve made some things that have made life easier for me and them, I made a feeder and waterer out of buckets and pvc pipes, and some great little water cups, that way they don’t run out of anything during the night. Now some day I hope to give them a better house but for now everything works great!

The waterer I made recently. And it’s filthy of course. Chickens are veeeeery “dusty” and fling all kinds of dirt and debris around, and it lands in the water cups, but it’s a great waterer!!
This is the feeder, it has 3 90° angle pvc pipe elbows for them to stick their heads in to get the feed at the bottom. Saves from wasted feed and they don’t run out of food nearly as fast! Well worth the work.

If anyone has questions feel free to reach out, I’d love to answer and chat all about raising chickens in your back yard! Have a beautiful day!

~A

My first pregnancy & birth story

I found out I was pregnant the beginning of November in 2018 and I was in shock, disbelief, and joy. The first person I told was my mom, I took two tests to be certain before I told her. And then when I told my boyfriend he said “I knew already” with a smile on his face. I had my suspicions as well, I felt really sick. Almost like I was getting a cold actually, very stuffed sinuses, bad headache, and bad body aches that just wouldn’t go away for about two weeks. Then I missed my period. I have never missed a period. So I knew it had to be!

I had morning sickness for a couple of months, but all day long. And my once beloved stirfry dinners (which I ate a lot) made me sick to even think about. After the sickness passed, for the most part, I was left feeling decently alright. I had headaches but that’s normal for me, and I felt a little tired. But after a little while I started to get horrrrrible heartburn! Absolutely nothing helped and I had to be put on a prescription. But I also started to have another issue pop up at the same time. I’d go to work and I’d almost pass out. Often. I’d be standing talking to someone and I’d have to sit down because my vision was getting dark, my hearing was fading, and my legs were shaky. Well turns out I was anemic, they told me to take iron supplements which helped some but not totally. I guess they weren’t worried.

I worked 5 hours 5 days a week, at my grandparents grocery store where I worked for 11 years (until I recently gave my notice) and it was a job where you don’t sit down hardly ever. At least not my positions. My OB told me to sit as much as I could but, that’s not really an option when you work as a cashier, stocking shelves, cleaning, moping floors or working behind the meat counter. I was constantly asked when I’d take maternity leave and I told everyone I would be working until the baby came. And I did exactly that.

It was a Tuesday, around 12:30pm (I worked closing shifts) and I got up to get ready for work from a nap. I thought I must have peed myself…

“Gross..” so I got in the shower.

I got out of the shower, put new clothes on, and… it happened again. Almost anytime I moved a little more trickled out. I texted my boyfriend

“I think my water broke”

I had also noticed that I had lost some mucus when I went to the bathroom before my shower but hadn’t thought much of it. Now I know that I had lost my mucus plug.

Well I’m standing in my apartment trying to make some scrambled eggs because either way, if I went to the hospital or to work, I needed food! Dusty bursts in the door with a deer in the headlights look on his face.

“You THINK your water broke?! Have you called anyone??”

“Uhh no… I guess I should. Haha”

He looks at me still stirring eggs and says “ what are you doing?! I’ll finish that, you go do what you need to do!” He was panicking a bit I think, but so was I, I was nervous. So I get on the phone and tell the lady at my doctors office that I think my water broke. She was shocked at how calm I was (she even told my mom how amazed she was that I wasn’t panicking) deep down I was though. But I also felt… ready, content.

I wasn’t having any pains so I drove myself to the hospital, (everyone asks why Dusty didn’t but, I just hopped in the drivers seat, I didn’t give him the option to drive) my mom showed up after we got all checked in and admitted. (I had been dilated to 3cm for 2 weeks before hand) I was dilated to 5cm when I arrived at 1:45pm. I was having contractions but they weren’t bad so I walked the halls with my mom and Dusty for a little while until they the pains got worse and I needed to sit down. At this point, to me at least, it felt like my usual period cramping when I have a bad period. The nurse brought in a medicine ball for me to bounce around on, but I only was able to sit there for a handful of seconds. They moved me to the bed, and my water fully broke then. The contractions were horrible now, I was having back labor, something I wasn’t aware of until a few days prior. I decided on the epidural. I was checked for dilation, I was now at an 8. The anesthesiologist took his sweet time talking sitting with his legs crossed in the chair in front of me. I was holding back tears I was in so much pain and I didn’t hear anything he said except for my mom

“She’s going to have this baby before you can get the epidural done…”

“Oh no, we have a while, this is her first baby.”

He could not have been more wrong. After the epidural was in, I was laid back in the bed, given an IV by a lady who looked across me to tell Dusty what soft skin I had. And the doctor came in to check dilation again and from the look on her face she didn’t expect it but she said “ it’s go time!” And everyone snapped into action. Nurses started to scramble to get everything ready and in the blink of an eye my doctor was in full gear and gloved up with all the necessary tools.

My mom and my grandma were able to stay in the room, I know they both appreciated the experience and I didn’t care who saw what at that time. And had my mom not been there I wouldn’t have known the my son was born with the cord around his neck, everyone was so calm I never once thought anything was amiss. And I also wouldn’t have known that my doctor was twirling my baby boys hair as he emerged. Now I know that may sound odd, but that made me realize that I chose a great person to deliver my baby, because that showed that this wasn’t just a job for her, she loved babies, and that’s exactly the type of doctor you want.

Dusty helped hold up one of my legs while pushing because it was going numb from the epidural. A nurse asked him if he was ok helping, or if he would get queasy or lightheaded. He said no “I’ve had to birth a lot of calves in my day.”

My doctor laughed and said “well this is not the same as birthing a calf!”

I started pushing and about 25 minutes later my beautiful son Ronan was born. 7.08 oz 19 1/2 inches long. His daddy cut the cord, even though he was nervous and said he wasn’t sure he wanted to, but he did it, said his hands were shaking and he had to make two cuts because he didn’t quite get it the first time.

They put Ronan on my chest right as he came out and I couldn’t believe it. I just made another being. I made a life, and I get to finally hold him and feel him in my arms, and I can finally kiss his little face.after a minute they whisked him away to the warming table to do all the measurements and things. My mom went over to take pictures of the whole thing, I’m so grateful for her. Dusty stayed by my side but I told him to go see the baby, I’d be fine. And as I’m being stitched up from tearing, Dusty mom and a lady I didn’t know walk in the room, and my poor dad who was patiently waiting outside thought that it must be ok to come in.

Well to his unfortunate surprise, he saw more than he should have… the nurse asked if I wanted everyone to leave and I said, no, it’s too late now.

They finally brought my baby boy back to me and Dusty’s mom said that she needed to hold the baby before she left because she had to go… I didn’t want to let go of my baby yet but I felt I had to to make everyone happy. But I know I was upsetting myself, and my mom who had been there throughout the whole thing should have held him first, but I gave in to pressure. I handed my new baby over to Dusty’s mom and the first thing she was, babies bounce right?….. if I could have jumped up right then and there I would have, but I couldn’t feel my legs yet since the epidural had just recently fully kicked in. But I was furious.

Thank goodness my baby boy was handed to my mom who stepped in knowing how uncomfortable I was. And my newborn was soon safely returned to me and I didn’t let go again for a long time.

We had friends visit after my family left, and we were moved into our overnight room. Dusty had to sleep on a terrible pullout chair, Ronan in the hospital bassinet, and me on the thin mattressed bed in basically a mesh diaper, giant pad and ice pack as long as my forearm. All very uncomfortable.

I attempted to feed every 2 hours. He wouldn’t latch consistently so we were monitored and had to stay an extra day. (Check out my other post for my breastfeeding-pumping story!)

I didn’t get any sleep, I wanted Ronan in the room, I didn’t want anyone taking him but I eventually gave in and a nurse, with a huge smile on her face, snuggled him and said that I need the rest, and he will be well cuddled and loved until his next feeding. And he was, and I got to sleep for a couple hours at a time for the next 6 hours until breakfast.

And with breakfast, came paperwork. The multitasking that comes with motherhood starts immediately by the way, feeding a baby (trying to keep him awake to eat) having your belly pushed on and trying to do paperwork while on the phone… it’s only the beginning of the madness my friend! The wonderful crazy madness of being a mom. The amount of pain you feel to bring your baby into this world is the ultimate sacrifice for all the joys of having children, the pain is all but forgotten,and all you can think of is your new baby in your arms.

They grow so so fast, that newborn stage lasts only the blink of an eye, and each stage after that seems to just meld into the next. Cherish every moment, good and bad, learn with your child, don’t fight your instincts, or your gut feelings. If something seems wrong, it probably is. And do not give in to pressure. That baby is yours. You grew them, you nurtured them and you brought them into this world. You have created life. Your body is amazing, the female body is a miracle in its self. To be able to create new life from cells, to go through unimaginable pain to bring this life to world, and be able to feed that life, and bounce back, and want to do it all over again.

Don’t be ashamed if you have stretch marks, or that one boob is now noticeable bigger than the other because it produces more milk. Be proud of all that your body has and can accomplish, and take time to give it the rest and relaxation it deserves.

~A

P.s. if my posts seem scattered at times it’s most likely because I’m being interrupted and have to stop for a while and come back later to finish when I have a moment! So please bear with me and any errors I make, I do my best to re-read before posting!

Living with chronic pain

We have all experienced pain at some point in life. Whether it was small like getting a paper cut (absolutely horrible, I can’t be alone in thinking that!) or something big like childbirth, and even heartbreak. It’s all pain, and we have all felt it’s grasp, but today I want to tell you about my struggles with chronic pain. And unfortunately I will need to break this post into two or three because talking about my body pains and my migraines (though connected) have stories of their own.

It all started when I was a kid. You know at school when they have nurses come in and they check your spine? Well I don’t know if they do that still, but they used to. Anyway I was told once that I may have scoliosis, then I had someone else tell me that I was just fine. I never got checked again after that, so as far as anyone knew, I didn’t have anything wrong with my spine. Well as the years went by and I got older, I did sports. I played soccer for 8 years (rolled my ankles so much that I started to not notice when I had rolled or sprained them), I tried volleyball, basketball, softball even. But eventually I found what I loved most, running.

I ran cross country all through high school and I loved it, I had great friends that ran and I had an absolutely amazing coach. So I ran cross country during the fall and then during the spring I started to do track (which I did not enjoy) but it kept me in shape in the off season and I had some of the same friends and part of the time, the same coach.

My first year of running though, my hip flexors kept getting pulled. (Very painful) but I kept on because I am very stubborn and wanted to prove that I could do it. And I did. I struggled so much that first year but I got a lot easier pretty quickly. But the pains started to get worse in some places. And more specifically, my right hip. I didn’t say much for a long time, about a year or two, until the pain I was in was physically noticeable. I limped, bad, and would be on the edge of tears after running, and after awhile, all the time. I could hardly walk, or sit, or stand. My friends told me to take it easy but I didn’t want to, I had hoped it would just go away. I couldn’t have been more wrong. And around this time, I started to have migraines, rib discomfort, lower back pain, and on top of it all I get really intense crippling menstrual cramps.

I have two specific injuries that are entire posts in themselves that I will delve into another day as well, but let’s just say I have had my fair share of injuries and mostly muscular/skeletal and joint issues. But for now I’ll just skip around and say I eventually had hip surgery in 2017.

But that’s a story for another time as well. (stay tuned!)

I have gone to physical therapy for a combined total of about 3 years, I’ve seen multiple chiropractors, massage therapists, and doctors. And no one could tell me why I was in so much pain all the time. Blood tests came back fine, (vitamin D deficient, but who isn’t in eastern Oregon) but no issues like rheumatoid, or MS. On paper, I’m perfectly fine and healthy. But let me tell you, I don’t feel like I am. I have had a constant headache, and I mean constant, for over 7 years. I had brain imaging even, and nothing. Why can no one tell me why I hurt? Why do I feel weak and exhausted? Some days are better than others, and some days are worse. Eventually a doctor gave in and scheduled a spine X-ray to check my neck, because did I mention my neck hurts all the time? Well lo-and behold, I have scoliosis! But there’s more, not only do I have scoliosis in my upper back, I have a curve on my lower back as well, but that portion is just one degree short of being considered scoliosis. Back to physical therapy I went, and I was put on multiple muscle relaxers, which definitely helped. I even had steroid injections in my upper back… that wasn’t supposed to hurt but the numbing didn’t work on me well enough, and to no surprise, neither did the steroids. But then baby #2 was on the way, so I stopped taking medications for muscles and migraines.

But after all this, I still have had no relief, and no real answers. Sure I have one diagnosis, but… what good did that do for me? I still hurt. I thought knowing something would help me be able to fix myself, but that’s not the case. I still take too much Tylenol, and spend too much time being in too much pain to do anything. And what no one tells you is that chronic pain that lasts more than a year, (mind you I’m at about 7 years) causes mental changes, it alters the way your brain functions, it causes anxiety and panic attacks out of nowhere. And not to mention how difficult some days are when you are trying to take care of your young children and you feel like you’ve been hit by a freight train.

But having my babies gives me so much more will to keep going, they are the reasons I crawl out of bed, and the reason I don’t just sit and melt into my couch. They give me life when I feel at my lowest, they make me smile when I thought I couldn’t be happy. Family is my medicine, and their love is the best medication I’ve had.

Now I’m still trying my best to figure things out, between the nerve pain, the muscle tightness, and massive head pain, I am striving to do my best, and will figure this out. I won’t give up, I’m too stubborn for that, and I have too much to live for.

To anyone out there with pain, I feel you. You’re not alone, and against all odds, we can be happy, you just need to allow the happiness some room amidst the struggle.

~A

Exclusive pumping with both kids!

This whole post is about my journey to feed my babies, and how I decided that exclusively pumping breast milk was the best option for us. So if you are uncomfortable talking about the details of breastfeeding then I suggest you stop now! (Maybe read another post of mine! Haha)

Boobs. They are not only an attractive feature that we all gaze upon, but they are quite literally the life line for our babies once they are born. Now I understand that not every mama out there had or has the option to breastfeed. And if I lived in a world without pumps I wouldn’t be able to either. BUT, thankfully I am and I couldn’t be any more grateful for that! (I’ve been watching the tv show Call the Midwife and they didn’t have anything like that for a long time, women had it rough…)

My breastfeeding story began with my son (who is now 3). He nursed fine in the hospital but was having a tiny bit of an issue latching, so we were kept an extra day. Well we went home and all was well until that night, and he was crying hungry. I went to nurse him and he wouldn’t take, he would try and then he would scream. (I have later realized it was partially my fault, my right breast doesn’t produce as much and it’s slower to let down, so baby doesn’t want to wait to eat and they get mad.) I was trying to stay calm and keep trying on the other side, but at this point my son was too upset and no amount of coaxing was going to help. (My boyfriend in the background of the whole thing was only making things harder for me)

I gave in, I made a bottle of formula, and I cried. I never wanted to have to give him that. But I had no choice, he was hungry. Thankfully my cousin had given me a medela breast pump that she had. I was determined to give my boy what he needed, and what was best for him. So I hooked up the pump to the wall and for 30mins every 2 hours I pumped. But I didn’t make much. (The first days of milk production are very important, and I waited too long to have my body make enough, and let me tell you, trying to up production is a struggle.)

I hated pumping. I was isolated to a spot in the kitchen with an outlet and space to put the pump. It was bulky and I felt embarrassed at how silly it all looked, but I had to. My baby needed it, and eventually I didn’t have to supplement formula anymore! But let me tell you, when you’re at work and you have to sit down to take your pump break, and the break room has no lock, people walk in. And when you have a traditional breast pump on, it’s quite the shock to say the least.

So I looked for a different option. I had seen ads on my instagram feed about cordless pumps that you could wear under your shirt! Under my shirt! That meant no more hiking my clothes up and taking my bra off to put on a pump friendly one. (I actually made a pumping bra by cutting holes in an old push up, worked great for the time being) No more hiding in a different room, or being unable to pick up my baby when he was crying. I was willing to pay whatever I needed to for that. And pay a small fortune I did, but I paid for peace of mind and freedom.

I ended up buying the Elvie pumps which came to just about $500, including a different sized nipple shield because the ones they came with were too big or too small. These pumps have been the biggest life saver for me, I can pump anywhere anytime, and no one would even notice, they are quiet and just make it seem like you grew a couple cup sizes haha! I can pump on the go, or while doing chores. Most importantly though, I can pick up and hold my baby, that means no more crying because they are crying and I can’t hold them with tubes and plastic pieces sticking a foot off my chest! These pumps are the BEST thing you could buy. I’m now on my second baby using the same pumps I used with my son, and I exclusively pumped for a full year with him, I plan to do the same for my daughter. (She became a very aggressive eater and I had bloodied and butchered nipples because she was biting not sucking, that’s why I’m pumping again!)

Since I had these right away I have not had to give my daughter formula at all and have over 60 freezer bags of breast milk stocked up! Amazing right? And she’s only 3 months. You won’t regret buying cordless pumps.

Now enjoy the rest of your day my friend! And thank you for reading!

~A

What you really need in your hospital baby bag!

Are you ready for you baby? Well I don’t know if any one can ever truly be ready, but you can at least get your hospital bag ready. Right?

Well let me tell you about my experiences so far and what I brought for both of my kiddos! (It may just surprise you)

I’ll start this off by saying that my first hospital bag was different than my second, I realized that I didn’t need some things and that other things would have been nice to have the second go around. My son (1st baby) was born at 37 weeks and 5 days, so a bit earlier than expected! And shockingly enough, I had the bag packed and ready for a week! I was in the nesting phase the week before he arrived and when I packed the bag I definitely shoved things in that I did not need and I only touched because they needed moved in order to find my phone charger. (essential thing to bring, you’ll want pictures straight away)

I threw blankets (yes, plural) burp rags, diapers, wipes, a stuffed animal, baby shoes, countless outfits, simply because I couldn’t decide what he should wear, and extra clothes for me. Now that may not seem like a ton but for an overnight (or two) trip… it was too much, and unnecessary things were in the mix! But I didn’t know what I was doing, first time mom who looked at too many Pinterest posts about what to bring, and between my bags (yes, also plural), and my boyfriend bringing his Xbox along, it was like we were going on vacation, and that’s not what it felt like, trust me!

So let me tell you what I brought with me for my daughters arrival! (I’ll give you a hint, it all fit in my purse!)

Bag contents for after delivery :

1. Baby’s going home outfit (newborn and one bigger just in case your baby is bigger than expected)

2. Baby blanket to lay over him/her in the car seat when you leave (babies get chilled easy)

3. Hair brush/comb

4. Toothbrush and paste

5. Hair clip/ties

6. Phone and charger

That is it for essentials. The hospital provides you with diapers, and things to wipe your babies butt, your baby will only need a going home outfit because they will be swaddled the whole time you’re at the hospital and the nurses need to easily be able to check vitals so clothing them will only be in the way. (Especially if your nurses are run ragged and stretched thin because there were 5 babies born the same day as yours!)

There was one thing that I asked to be brought in for me and that was my nursing pillow, now that is not necessary and it does take up space but I found it more comfortable than using just the hospital pillow to help hold up my baby while nursing.

Another tip, wear baggy clothes, sweats and shirt/sweatshirt and sandals or slippers, no one cares what you look like going in or coming out, they can see that you just gave birth! So be comfy. You’ll also need that comfort because you’ll be very very sore *down there* and even more so if you needed stitches. But you’ll be wearing probably the same clothes when you go home because for the most part, you’ll be in the hospital gown, (again, easier on your nurses because they have to check you many times for the mandatory 24hrs you’re there.)

And now, for the best thing I could have ever bought, Thinx period underwear. I bought them in advance knowing how much I hated wearing adult diapers after I had my son. I still used a pad in them because you don’t want your stitches catching in the fabric, plus you basically change your pads out every time you pee. TMI I know. But honestly, get them. Worth every penny and wayyyy more comfortable than disposable diapers. (Less embarrassing as well!) But I wore them when I left the hospital and it made me feel so much more confident and comfortable, I didn’t wear them during my stay because why waste laundry when they provide everything for you?

For after you go home, make sure you buy heavy flow pads, and also a good supply of panty liners, you could be bleeding and passing lochia for quite som time after birth and you’ll want a good stock pile so you don’t have to leave the house or worry about someone else picking up the wrong items!

Good luck mama! You’ll do great and remember, you are strong and courageous, you can do this. And congratulations on creating a beautiful soul! Stay strong!

~A

My first blog post & becoming a stay at home mom!

So I have decided to start a blog. Now, I am aware that I will not be everyone’s cup of tea, or coffee, but I wanted a space where I can share myself and my stories, accomplishments and failures, to maybe help normalize or give advice on topics I find interesting. I had thought about doing it for a while now (a few years in fact) and here I am, newly a mother of two and sitting here wondering how I should tell my boss that I won’t be returning from maternity leave… And I am beyond ecstatic to have the opportunity to be at home with my children! What mother wouldn’t, right? 

The more I ponder the thought though, the more guilty I seem to feel. 

“They will be mad at me” 

“There won’t be enough help”

But then I stop, why should I feel guilty saying goodbye to a job that never really appreciated my work and dedication?! They already have hired multiple people to do my jobs and I know I am no longer needed, and that suits me fine. 

I sit here watching my 2 1/2 month old daughter wave her little arms about, kicking and smiling up at me, as my 3 year old son relaxes after a morning at school and I could not feel any more at peace. The worry of leaving work subsides and I know I’m making the right decision. My children will always come first, and my sanity! 

Now I know that it’s not always an option for mamas to stay home, I know that all too well. I wasn’t able to stay home after my son was born. I lived in an attic in the next town over from where I worked, and my boyfriend (now fiancé) didn’t live with us and worked as a ranch hand. Money was very tight for me after I wasted thousands of dollars trying to figure out why my hip hurt so badly I could hardly walk. 

I got pregnant a year after surgery and I had quite literally ran out of money. So not going back to work? Not an option. Only able to work part time and making minimum wage to boot had made saving money almost impossible. I would take my son to my moms when I went to work in the evenings, work 5 hours and then drive the 15 miles it took to get us home for the night, or what was left of the night, just to go to bed for a few hours at a time (feedings and exclusively pumping breast milk takes a lot of time out of your sleep) just to wake up exhausted and dreading work. 

Needless to say I cried, a lot. I cried because I needed sleep, I cried because I had to leave my baby to go to work and make only just enough to scrape by. What kind of life is it if you cry every day? Then when I thought I was finally on the up and up, my boyfriend was having medical issues. 

The full story on that will be for another post. But long story short, he had cancer and was told he needed emergency surgery. Now that all happened the day that we were moving (and I mean literally in the midst of moving) to our new house closer to our jobs. But my boyfriend could no longer work. In fact within a matter of days he was unable to walk. 

He remembers nothing of us moving, and doesn’t even remember the first week or so of us living here, that’s how much pain he was in. Cancer… I thought I was going to lose him for sure. But thankfully he pulled through, and for the next 2 1/2 years I had a built in “babysitter” for our son, who better than a parent to take care of your child. 

There were a lot of ups and downs, I’d say a lot more downs than ups, my son cries every time I leave the house even still, and my heart breaks they whole time I’m away, because all I see in my mind is his poor face looking at me as though he won’t see me again. And in his mind I’m sure that’s exactly what he thinks.

I tell you this story because I want you to know that, while, yes I am privileged to have this opportunity to be a stay at home mom, I do know what it’s like to struggle, I do know that it isn’t possible, and maybe you’re reading this wishing that you too could stay at home with your babies. And to you, I say this: You are a wonderful mother, you ARE doing your best, your children love you, and some day you will have the happiness that you wish you had right now. Life is not always fair, and being pessimistic makes life seem even less fair. So look for joy around you, and embrace it in whatever form it may take.

Time is fleeting, so find happiness in as many moments as you can and I promise you, your quality of life will be better, and better things will come your way. Keep your eyes on the ones you love, keep your heart full, and keep striving for happiness even in the darkest of times.