Imagination

Can you imagine,

A life where you are not judged for who you are

Not convinced that you’re wrong or weak?

Can you imagine feeling calm around others?

Gosh that must be nice, to be in a room with another human being and not be on edge. Not waiting for fight or flight take over.

I wonder what it’s like to be cared for without expectation.

To be listened to with attention

To be loved without a price.

Can you imagine that life?

Gosh that must feel nice.

How rich it must feel, how soft, how sweet, how filling for the soul, if this imagination of mine is real.

My fingers are crossed, stars have been wished, prayers said, offerings given and manifestations written.

If there is one thing I would want for Christmas, (if I was being selfish) I’d ask for proof that this can exist for me.

That true love can be a reality.

Do you think Santa has enough Christmas magic for that??

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I found this in my drafts. I have a few sitting there that I’ve written late at night and then forgot about!

And while things on my page haven’t exactly been lighthearted or happy here recently, I have a good feeling that they will be soon! I’ve been doing a lot of self reflection and realizing that the less I care about someone else’s thoughts of me or their reaction to me, the less I give a shit. Seriously so freeing to just care for yourself (and the kids of course)

But, as for the toxicity of some people around me, I am letting go. I am choosing to choose me first. Not them. I don’t want to be a people pleaser for them anymore. For all the tons and tons of love that I gave them, I’ve only gotten a pound in return. And to be honest, that was taken back anyway.

It is time for me to be me. And to figure out who that actually is. This year is going to have some big changes, I hope you can stick with me, because it won’t be easy, but it will be better!

~ A

P.S. have a wonderful, wonderful week my friend!