What is this feeling?

I sit in silence, my babies sound asleep after a long tiring day.

A day made more tiring from sleep deprivation and a migraine.

But the most tiring of all,

The man in the other room.

The man who can’t utter a single sentence that’s new.

A record on repeat.

A one lane highway.

My words fall on deaf ears. Or drunken stupidity.

I’m not sure what’s worse, being ignored or having your words be heard as something completely different. Twisted into something I didn’t say.

No matter. I know his games. And I won’t play. I have a busy day with my children tomorrow and I need rest, if I get any tonight.

I’d say I feel numb, but this is a different sort of weight.

A sensation I have no name for, one that I don’t like, but I don’t hate either. It’s just…. There.

~A