I’m sure somehow this is a controversial topic, and I don’t care! I want to talk a little bit about mothers, good and bad. And since I want to discuss bad mothers too, I have decided to not post this one on Mother’s Day!
I feel that would be in poor taste.
Let’s just get the bad mother talk out of the way first!
Now if you’ve read some of my previous stuff, I don’t hide the fact that I had a bad mother. The woman that birthed me was a bad person, and an even worse mother. I haven’t seen her in 20 years. I don’t plan on changing that.
It is of my personal opinion, that bad people, stem from bad mothers… now maybe that isn’t always true, but I truly think it is. When I say “bad mother” I mean that she was either, neglectful, absent, abusive, and/or mentally unstable, which could cause all of those things.
Not all people that had bad moms turn out bad, but I think all bad people, most likely came from a bad mother.
I personally can’t tell you what it feels like to be loved my your mom. I never had that. I never had my mom to run to when I got hurt, I just dealt with the pain on my own. I couldn’t crawl in bed with her after a nightmare, because I felt more secure and safe staying in my own bed. My mother taught me nothing but distrust, and how to take care of myself at the age of 5.
She never hugged me, or cuddled me, never brushed my hair, never played with me, and rarely ever even spoke to me.
Being a mother myself now, I can’t even fathom how she could have done that to us. It’s baffling.
All I ever want to do is snuggle my babies and smother them in love every single second of the day. My life would be so empty without them, and the thought of any mother feeling differently…. Well it really hurts me. It breaks my heart, because I remember the lack of motherly love. And I get sad because even as an adult, I so desperately wish I knew what it would have felt like,
And knowing I never will.
I plan on a part two of this discussion to talk up all the great mamas out there, because you’re there, I see you!!
Don’t take your wonderful mama for granted friend.
~A
Ink & Embers 