I some times think back to before I was a mother and I just can’t help but wonder who that person was. Because she feels like a stranger I met in passing. The choices she made seem like they were not of my choosing, the friends she had aren’t they company I keep now, and the thoughts she had are foreign in my mind.
Having my children has changed me into the type of person I wanted to be. I always knew I wanted children and now that I do I can’t imagine myself without them. Who I would be, I don’t even want to know.
There’s nothing better than holding your new born baby, hearing their sweet voices, and the way they just snuggle up in your arms. Or when your toddlers face just lights up when they see you after they’ve been at school. The huge smiles that your babies give you is the purest joy and love in the world.
Before my first baby was born I remember having this feeling of disconnect… and I feel guilty now about that feeling. I don’t know how I could have ever felt that way, but I did. I don’t know why I did but I didn’t feel any loving feeling for the life growing in me. But right when I had him, I immediately would have done anything and everything for him. He became my whole heart, my love, my life, my happiness, my everything. I’m sure hormones played a huge role in all of my feelings but let me tell you that becoming a mother changes you in wonderful ways. Your children are an extension of you, and you need them just as much as they need you.
I hear stories of horrible things that mothers have done to their children or even other children and I can’t wrap my head around it, I cannot comprehend how someone could do such things. Even in my life, my own mother did terrible things, and with the neglect from her, I was close to death, and would have for sure died had my brother not cared for me. Our baby sister was taken from her life too soon because of neglect that lead to abuse. But thankfully our father was finally able to get us out of her care and into a loving home with him.
After experiencing what it’s like to become a mother, I will never understand her actions, her neglect, and her lack of love for her 4 young children. Something must be wrong with her brain to have been capable of such things.
All I know is how immensely I love my babies, and they will never lack for love. My life would be meaningless without them, my heart incomplete.
Motherhood may be difficult at times, but loving your children is not. Showing them how much you love them and care for them is the core to them becoming a wonderful person later in life, there is no such thing as showing your babies “too much love”.
When your baby cries, hold them. When your toddler cries, hold them, ask them what’s wrong, hug them. When your child cries, hug them, listen to them. You can’t “spoil” your children by showing them how much they matter.
Not showing enough will have very negative consequences.
~A
Ink & Embers 