My first pregnancy & birth story

I found out I was pregnant the beginning of November in 2018 and I was in shock, disbelief, and joy. The first person I told was my mom, I took two tests to be certain before I told her. And then when I told my boyfriend he said “I knew already” with a smile on his face. I had my suspicions as well, I felt really sick. Almost like I was getting a cold actually, very stuffed sinuses, bad headache, and bad body aches that just wouldn’t go away for about two weeks. Then I missed my period. I have never missed a period. So I knew it had to be!

I had morning sickness for a couple of months, but all day long. And my once beloved stirfry dinners (which I ate a lot) made me sick to even think about. After the sickness passed, for the most part, I was left feeling decently alright. I had headaches but that’s normal for me, and I felt a little tired. But after a little while I started to get horrrrrible heartburn! Absolutely nothing helped and I had to be put on a prescription. But I also started to have another issue pop up at the same time. I’d go to work and I’d almost pass out. Often. I’d be standing talking to someone and I’d have to sit down because my vision was getting dark, my hearing was fading, and my legs were shaky. Well turns out I was anemic, they told me to take iron supplements which helped some but not totally. I guess they weren’t worried.

I worked 5 hours 5 days a week, at my grandparents grocery store where I worked for 11 years (until I recently gave my notice) and it was a job where you don’t sit down hardly ever. At least not my positions. My OB told me to sit as much as I could but, that’s not really an option when you work as a cashier, stocking shelves, cleaning, moping floors or working behind the meat counter. I was constantly asked when I’d take maternity leave and I told everyone I would be working until the baby came. And I did exactly that.

It was a Tuesday, around 12:30pm (I worked closing shifts) and I got up to get ready for work from a nap. I thought I must have peed myself…

“Gross..” so I got in the shower.

I got out of the shower, put new clothes on, and… it happened again. Almost anytime I moved a little more trickled out. I texted my boyfriend

“I think my water broke”

I had also noticed that I had lost some mucus when I went to the bathroom before my shower but hadn’t thought much of it. Now I know that I had lost my mucus plug.

Well I’m standing in my apartment trying to make some scrambled eggs because either way, if I went to the hospital or to work, I needed food! Dusty bursts in the door with a deer in the headlights look on his face.

“You THINK your water broke?! Have you called anyone??”

“Uhh no… I guess I should. Haha”

He looks at me still stirring eggs and says “ what are you doing?! I’ll finish that, you go do what you need to do!” He was panicking a bit I think, but so was I, I was nervous. So I get on the phone and tell the lady at my doctors office that I think my water broke. She was shocked at how calm I was (she even told my mom how amazed she was that I wasn’t panicking) deep down I was though. But I also felt… ready, content.

I wasn’t having any pains so I drove myself to the hospital, (everyone asks why Dusty didn’t but, I just hopped in the drivers seat, I didn’t give him the option to drive) my mom showed up after we got all checked in and admitted. (I had been dilated to 3cm for 2 weeks before hand) I was dilated to 5cm when I arrived at 1:45pm. I was having contractions but they weren’t bad so I walked the halls with my mom and Dusty for a little while until they the pains got worse and I needed to sit down. At this point, to me at least, it felt like my usual period cramping when I have a bad period. The nurse brought in a medicine ball for me to bounce around on, but I only was able to sit there for a handful of seconds. They moved me to the bed, and my water fully broke then. The contractions were horrible now, I was having back labor, something I wasn’t aware of until a few days prior. I decided on the epidural. I was checked for dilation, I was now at an 8. The anesthesiologist took his sweet time talking sitting with his legs crossed in the chair in front of me. I was holding back tears I was in so much pain and I didn’t hear anything he said except for my mom

“She’s going to have this baby before you can get the epidural done…”

“Oh no, we have a while, this is her first baby.”

He could not have been more wrong. After the epidural was in, I was laid back in the bed, given an IV by a lady who looked across me to tell Dusty what soft skin I had. And the doctor came in to check dilation again and from the look on her face she didn’t expect it but she said “ it’s go time!” And everyone snapped into action. Nurses started to scramble to get everything ready and in the blink of an eye my doctor was in full gear and gloved up with all the necessary tools.

My mom and my grandma were able to stay in the room, I know they both appreciated the experience and I didn’t care who saw what at that time. And had my mom not been there I wouldn’t have known the my son was born with the cord around his neck, everyone was so calm I never once thought anything was amiss. And I also wouldn’t have known that my doctor was twirling my baby boys hair as he emerged. Now I know that may sound odd, but that made me realize that I chose a great person to deliver my baby, because that showed that this wasn’t just a job for her, she loved babies, and that’s exactly the type of doctor you want.

Dusty helped hold up one of my legs while pushing because it was going numb from the epidural. A nurse asked him if he was ok helping, or if he would get queasy or lightheaded. He said no “I’ve had to birth a lot of calves in my day.”

My doctor laughed and said “well this is not the same as birthing a calf!”

I started pushing and about 25 minutes later my beautiful son Ronan was born. 7.08 oz 19 1/2 inches long. His daddy cut the cord, even though he was nervous and said he wasn’t sure he wanted to, but he did it, said his hands were shaking and he had to make two cuts because he didn’t quite get it the first time.

They put Ronan on my chest right as he came out and I couldn’t believe it. I just made another being. I made a life, and I get to finally hold him and feel him in my arms, and I can finally kiss his little face.after a minute they whisked him away to the warming table to do all the measurements and things. My mom went over to take pictures of the whole thing, I’m so grateful for her. Dusty stayed by my side but I told him to go see the baby, I’d be fine. And as I’m being stitched up from tearing, Dusty mom and a lady I didn’t know walk in the room, and my poor dad who was patiently waiting outside thought that it must be ok to come in.

Well to his unfortunate surprise, he saw more than he should have… the nurse asked if I wanted everyone to leave and I said, no, it’s too late now.

They finally brought my baby boy back to me and Dusty’s mom said that she needed to hold the baby before she left because she had to go… I didn’t want to let go of my baby yet but I felt I had to to make everyone happy. But I know I was upsetting myself, and my mom who had been there throughout the whole thing should have held him first, but I gave in to pressure. I handed my new baby over to Dusty’s mom and the first thing she was, babies bounce right?….. if I could have jumped up right then and there I would have, but I couldn’t feel my legs yet since the epidural had just recently fully kicked in. But I was furious.

Thank goodness my baby boy was handed to my mom who stepped in knowing how uncomfortable I was. And my newborn was soon safely returned to me and I didn’t let go again for a long time.

We had friends visit after my family left, and we were moved into our overnight room. Dusty had to sleep on a terrible pullout chair, Ronan in the hospital bassinet, and me on the thin mattressed bed in basically a mesh diaper, giant pad and ice pack as long as my forearm. All very uncomfortable.

I attempted to feed every 2 hours. He wouldn’t latch consistently so we were monitored and had to stay an extra day. (Check out my other post for my breastfeeding-pumping story!)

I didn’t get any sleep, I wanted Ronan in the room, I didn’t want anyone taking him but I eventually gave in and a nurse, with a huge smile on her face, snuggled him and said that I need the rest, and he will be well cuddled and loved until his next feeding. And he was, and I got to sleep for a couple hours at a time for the next 6 hours until breakfast.

And with breakfast, came paperwork. The multitasking that comes with motherhood starts immediately by the way, feeding a baby (trying to keep him awake to eat) having your belly pushed on and trying to do paperwork while on the phone… it’s only the beginning of the madness my friend! The wonderful crazy madness of being a mom. The amount of pain you feel to bring your baby into this world is the ultimate sacrifice for all the joys of having children, the pain is all but forgotten,and all you can think of is your new baby in your arms.

They grow so so fast, that newborn stage lasts only the blink of an eye, and each stage after that seems to just meld into the next. Cherish every moment, good and bad, learn with your child, don’t fight your instincts, or your gut feelings. If something seems wrong, it probably is. And do not give in to pressure. That baby is yours. You grew them, you nurtured them and you brought them into this world. You have created life. Your body is amazing, the female body is a miracle in its self. To be able to create new life from cells, to go through unimaginable pain to bring this life to world, and be able to feed that life, and bounce back, and want to do it all over again.

Don’t be ashamed if you have stretch marks, or that one boob is now noticeable bigger than the other because it produces more milk. Be proud of all that your body has and can accomplish, and take time to give it the rest and relaxation it deserves.

~A

P.s. if my posts seem scattered at times it’s most likely because I’m being interrupted and have to stop for a while and come back later to finish when I have a moment! So please bear with me and any errors I make, I do my best to re-read before posting!